| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|02:02 pm] |
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URGH STOP HAVING DREAMS HATTIE. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 13th, 2009|01:30 am] |
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"Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!" |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 5th, 2009|01:09 pm] |
In the first part of my dream, I was with a boy my age wearing matching silver cloaks with clouds stitched on them. We and a bunch of other people were riding a huge Asian style dragon (silver scales and teal hair) as if it were a bus or some other mode of public transit.
The second half of my dream, I was with a group of people (unidentifiable classmates?) cooking a big dinner. When we got to the bottom of the huge pot we had put everything in, we found a pair of severed human hands that had a green, decayed tint to them, and were black wherever there was a joint. The fingertips were cut off with what might have been a pair of cable cutters.
Weird. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2009|03:09 am] |
I wish some of my thoughts would actually happen.
I feel like Jane going after the pianist in "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane"... UUUUGH. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 30th, 2009|03:38 pm] |
Today you'll look into my eyes, I'm just not the same
To be anymore than all I am would be a lie
I'm so full of love I could burst apart and start to cry
Today everything you want, I swear it all will come true
Today I realize how much I'm in love with you |
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| I THINK SOMEDAY |
[Oct. 27th, 2009|07:27 am] |
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SOmeday, I'll make myself an amulet of Idahocoles. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2009|10:12 pm] |
| [ | WHERE'D I GO? |
| | Apartment. | ] |
| [ | I FEEL LIKE THIS HERE THING: |
| | Emotionally Drained. | ] |
| [ | MUZAK |
| | "Moon Over Marin" -Dead Kennedys. | ] |
Yep, I still hate everything.
But only sometimes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 11th, 2009|11:04 pm] |
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Grand Rapids sucks and is boring. I hate this town. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 11th, 2009|10:39 pm] |
I´ve been looking for something
Ive always wanted
But was never mine
-Brian Ferry, "Mother of Pearl"
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| Yum Yum? |
[Oct. 11th, 2009|07:43 pm] |
| [ | WHERE'D I GO? |
| | Apartment | ] |
| [ | I FEEL LIKE THIS HERE THING: |
| | I Hate Cutting Onions ;_; | ] |
| [ | MUZAK |
| | "Encoded Flow" -Dabrye (Feat. Kadence) | ] |
So I ended up staying awake unti 9:30am... Probably not a good idea, since I'm still struggling for control over over my sleep schedule. I slept until around 3:00/3:30pm, listened as the rest of the house moved around for a bit, then started writing a butt load of stuff down for fun. I got out of bed around 6:00, took a shower and then decided my need for milk and eggs was too great to wait until either Mark or Bizzi bought them. I doubt eggs would be either of their responsibility, since it seems like I'm the only one who ever uses them. Eggs are awesome. I like to play experiment with them.
Which brings me to this evening's dinner.
I chopped up a bunch of onions and garlic, sautéed them in a fuck ton of butter and a drop of honey, then did my usual with three eggs and soy sauce. Then, as I was hurrying to make sure I didn't burn the shit in the pan, I suddenly had the idea to put a bit of the cane cola I had been drinking into my eggs. Whaaaatever, Hattie.
Anyway, all of this is served on a bed of rice, as per usual. It doesn't taste bad at all. I'm beginning to just straight up prefer soy sauce over regular salt nowadays, but then almost all the meals I've taken for the past several weeks have been eaten with chopsticks and almost always includes rice as an ingredient.
I need to go grocery shopping. There goes some more of my bond money.
;_;
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 11th, 2009|07:22 am] |
So today, I was just checking/stalking my facebook news feed like I usually do when I have no life (ie. all the time) when I saw this note posted by this girl who I was in one class with maybe a year ago maybe, I don't remember, whatever. Anyway, I was suddenly inclined to read it over. By the end, I couldn't help rolling my eyes.
I don't want to say that I've learned everything I ever possibly could about this girl from reading one passage, but jeez, somebody who rails on others this much is just bonkers. I mean-- I say that I can't stand most people, but this is ridiculous. Another thing: her prose reminds me of myself a few years back in high school. I think it's all the "flowery language" (to quote my mother, back in that time of my life) thrown about.
I guess I should just say that I'm at a loss. Ugh, whatever dude.
Anyway, on that note, I've decided that I'm actually going to make an effort to write more often. Some of you might not know that since freshman year of college, I feel like my conversational skills have gone by the wayside... That's around the time I stopped writing in a journal, and I feel like there's a direct correlation between the two. A lot of times when I'm talking to somebody I don't know all that well, I can't think of anything to say other than the usual pleasantries. I haven't always been like this, and it frustrates me to no end that things ended up this way. Most of the time when I end up talking with somebody I feel no connection with, I can feel myself panicking on the inside and try to escape as soon as I can. I don't like being this way. I hate feeling like I'm pushing people out of my life before I even get the chance to know them. I used to be a more accepting person, and now I want to work hard to try and gain that back.
Why am I up this late? I don't know.
Bye. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 5th, 2009|12:19 am] |
Ur so Kut, crid dra vilg ib!!!
E's lusbmadamo ihehdanacdat.
Fru lynac?
NNNNNNNNNYKA! |
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| This Explains Some of It. |
[Sep. 12th, 2009|10:38 pm] |
| [ | WHERE'D I GO? |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | I FEEL LIKE THIS HERE THING: |
| | Tired. | ] |
| [ | MUZAK |
| | "Out of Sight" -Tubeway Army. | ] |
"I don't wanna hear you talk
And I don't wanna go for walks
But I just wanna lay you flat
Well you think you're so good at that
I've got no time for your sad eyes
I don't care if you say good-bye
I don't really think that I want
Anything to do with you
Out of sight
Out of mind
The radio continues 'round me
Blending faces glaring at me
How was I to telephone
Crawl away to end it all
Spiral staircase leads to nowhere
I can take you somewhere (who cares)
Dee-Dee's crazy as a model
I'd break your heart if I'd got time
Out of sight
Out of mind
I hate you all I hate you all
You're breaking down my message wall
Out of sight
Out of mind" |
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| I'm Trying Really Hard to Understand. Part Two. |
[Sep. 12th, 2009|10:19 pm] |
| [ | I FEEL LIKE THIS HERE THING: |
| | TIRED OF THIS CARP | ] |
God damn it. I'm so mad about this.
I'm too frustrated to even talk about it, I guess. I've been sitting here trying to type something that doesn't sound really stupid. Oh well! I guess I'll just have to wait until shit in my brain settles.
GAAAAAAAAAH, SO LAME. |
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| I Can't... |
[Aug. 28th, 2009|01:58 pm] |
| [ | WHERE'D I GO? |
| | House | ] |
| [ | I FEEL LIKE THIS HERE THING: |
| |  Nauseous | ] |
| [ | MUZAK |
| | "Films" -Gary Numan | ] |
...Remember which order these two dreams came in, or if they're linked at all. Anyway, here we go:
1.) I was working at Encore and for some reason had some really guilty feeling that I was just messing everything up really bad, then I was trying to sell a stack of DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince records (there were some other ones, but I can't remember what they were) to the store while Peter was busy with some important phone call, etc. etc. So the next thing I knew, I was eating lunch and then I accidentally drink a lot of buffing compound; Probably because I thought it was something else. This trio of children looking about seven years old come into the store for some reason or other and before they can pass the opening in the counter next to the DVD counter, I'm running for the bathroom and can't help barfing all over the three of them. One of them dropped a cookie that looked like a dog biscuit, and as I cleaned them all off and apologized profusely, she demanded that I retrieve it from under the counter. So I asked, "Are you sure? It's covered in dust and hair and who knows what else..." That apparently didn't bother her at all, and right after I gave it to her she began nibbling on it.
The End.
I can only remember bits of the second dream. Here:
2.) -For some reason, I was driving (very, very badly) a police car in the style of The Blues Brothers' mobile.
-This car could turn into a bike that I was better at operating.
-It was a hot sunny day and I drove into this cul-de-sac in my cop car, scaring a bunch of toddlers back into their houses and affectively ruining a birthday party. Also, they were wearing these pastel colored metallic outfits that made them look like perfect spheres with arms and legs and a head. So after ruining this party and driving back out of the cul-de-sac I run into this girl who looks a lot like my old roommate's really good friend and she comments on how hot it is. I agree and drive away.
-It was one of those really cold days in January or February, and i had my cop-car-bike chained up outside this sort of laundromat/bowling alley. I don't remember what it was. It had really big plate glass windows that looked out onto the parking lot, and then to the farmland beyond the parking lot. Apparently, it was a laundromat/bowling alley out in the middle of rural nowhere, and all I could see were barren fields and patches of dead trees. Moving on, I had been sitting inside this place pan-handling with a sign that said something like this:
"Hello, I am mentally ill. I need money to buy firewood this winter."
After sitting for a while, I got on my bike and pedaled away, then changed it into a car and started hitting a lot of trees by accident and then the next thing I knew, I was hanging out with a serial killer and the me inside the dream didn't know what kind of hot water I was in.
The End.
Maybe that's why I had the nauseous feeling I get whenever I think about serial killers right after I woke up. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2009|03:01 am] |
"furikaeranai tabiji o anata ga yuku no nara--
watashi wa itsumo anata o oikakeru kaze" |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2009|02:52 am] |
| [ | I FEEL LIKE THIS HERE THING: |
| |  distressed | ] |
I MISS YOU, PEP
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